They're not suppose to be.

Lately, things are still the same. I guess just slightly better. I think.

I'll be starting school next month. It's not really school. It's like a centre that teaches us and stuff. So it's like a schooling centre. It is quite costly, but less than an international school. I'll be sitting for O levels, Cambridge. And taking either 3 subjects or 5 subjects! I'll update you soon! My uniform is only a top. Like a tee and I can wear whatever I want with it, as long as it's not TOO short. I'll update you with my schooling soon!

Recently, I've been talking to some lovely people that have been encouraging me alot. I realized that after I left NZ, that these people still care. I know the others care too. Like I mean it was really shocking at the messages and texts people sent me, who took the time to write to me, all the cards and presents. It really was sweet. But what really stood out to me is who still is keeping in touch, checking up on me, and still cares.

I haven't been talking to my best friends lately. Maybe it's the time difference, distance or distractions. I think it's just lack of effort. I still make the time to talk to other people who are not my best friends, I guess I'm too blame too. I've been telling people that I don't miss individuals, in fact, I haven't cried about leaving NZ. I think I won't be crying, or the time just hasn't come yet.

But I talked to Katie a few days ago about it. She feels the same. It's as if I'm on holiday. It's like I'm actually coming back, not gone for good. We both feel the same way. They - Steph and Helen, do too. I talked to Helen a bit too, a few days ago. But not Steph. Is it my fault too? That I should be the one to write, to ask how she's doing? I guess it's not affecting me that much, likewise for her, obviously.

I just had the thought lately, that I'm so fortunate to have met so many wonderful people. And I realized some different things along the way..

Charles and Kenneth has been consistently talking to me, asking me how I am. Kenneth and I are also writing alot too. And then the thought hit me, that even they asked, that they care. And my own best friends do, but not like them. In a way I'm comparing, but if you ask yourself, isn't it.. strange?

Ah, I don't know. It's just something I realized. I've also been messaging Vibha, which makes me happy. I've been getting quite the sum of messages, and I'm happy at the content of the messages, and the senders. Just the fact there's none from my bestfriends, that's just a tad dissapointing. But then again, they have their reasons, right? :) Well, I hope so!

ALSO. I'm working on a post on my trip to Singapore! I'm almost done, it's just that the internet is quite slow, so I can't upload the photos, but it should be up soon! (I HOPE)

Until then,

goodnight! :)